If it's Thursday night we must be watching "Survivor." When it's on, of course, which as of Sept. 18 it once again is for the seventh time around. Yep, seven ... we tallied them up this morning, and once we remembered the utterly forgettable "Survivor: Thailand" we were good to go.

Count us among those jazzed for "Survivor: Pearl Islands" if for no other reason than the tribe names (Morgan, Drake) no longer require a spelling cheat sheet posted at our desk. In fact, they sound downright festive.

The premiere starts right off with the twist that has been teased on CBS for the past few weeks where the clueless contestants are thrown overboard (but alas are not made to walk the plank blindfolded by Johnny Depp) with no clothes other than the ones they are wearing. The question we've been asking as to why several appear to be inappropriately dressed in the first place (Armani anyone?) is also answered. It seems the poor souls thought they were on their way to take publicity photos. Like "Fantasy Island," they don't realize their adventure has already begun.

Our intrepid host, Jeff Probst, isn't completely heartless though. Before sending them diving off the side of the boat after their sensible tennis shoes, he explains that they are near a small fishing village and if they use their smarts and the 100 balboas he gives each tribe they will be able to secure all the provisions they could possibly need for the next 39 days.

Then he takes away all their valuables and Osten's booze.

In the village, the newly minted Drakes (wearing blue) get off to a strong start, as troubled teen mentor Rupert feels no compunction pilfering from the inept Morgans' (in orange) unguarded goods. Sandra also comes out of the gate strong with her Spanish-speaking ability which snags the tribe a full barbecue dinner for a gold chain and clues her in to why a female villager is being especially friendly to Trish. Plus, they manage to snag a fishing spear, toothbrushes and a bunch of wine.

Meanwhile, the Morgans are in sad shape. Ryan O. goes running off, Osten tells the girls to flash their breasts for goods and Lillian the scoutmaster is a walking freak show.

While we personally don't have any children, when we do and they become troubled teens (as they undoubtedly will), we are fairly confident that we would rather entrust them to hippie dippie Rupert rather than the merit badge adorned 51-year-old who would probably be played by Amy Sedaris if her life merited being made into a movie.

Come on honey: scout to live, don't live to scout.

After securing provisions, the tribes go off to find their respective islands.

The Morgans continue to screw up by setting up camp on the ground overrun by hermit crabs and palm fronds that can (and are) mistaken for snakes. Noah Wyle's geeky younger brother Ryan S. talks about Osten's muscles not realizing that they are meant to intimidate the men while attracting the women.

As for the Drakes, they actually manage to build a presentable shelter, but all is not well between them. Shawn and Burton get the others mad when they pop open a coconut and only share the juice with Michelle. Not to mention the small fact that their watering hole is where all the island's mosquitoes go for happy hour (Jon, sounding like "The Simpsons" Ralph Wiggum, giggles that the much-bitten Shawn "looks like the moon ... except in reverse").

On Day Two, the Drakes also realize that they didn't get any clothes during their swap meet and start altering their current attire. Shawn makes shorts out of his Armani suit pants and Rupert dispenses of his "fancy dress jeans" for a skirt make from Christa's dress.

After the fashion show, Burton and Shawn go off fishing and probably bring back a single trophy. Rupert then runs off and brings back many, many fish making an enemy out of show boater Burton while happily filling the six other tribe members bellies.

All to soon it's time for the first Immunity Challenge involving an obstacle course and a cannon. Osten loses his shorts halfway through so Andrew and Ryan O. strip off their trunks too as a show of solidarity.

The race is a close one. Even though Andrew has quickly become the "leader" of the Morgans, they still lose and are charged with deciding who will be the first person sent home. The stronger members start talking about getting rid of gawky Ryan S. or weirdly intense Lillian, but Nicole screws the pooch by trying to enlist Lillian's help in taking out Tijuana.

Lillian is earnest, but not terribly bright and immediately shares this with Andrew who then tells Tijuana. Tijuana confronts Nicole in front of the extraordinarily camera-shy Darrah and Nicole gives a lame excuse. So lame in fact that she, and her tacky blue dress, are sent packing in a vote of seven to one (she targets Ryan S.).

Showing at least a smidgen of self awareness, Nicole admits in her closing statement that she knew from previous life experience she would be the first one sent home or the last one standing, which just may be the saddest thing we've ever heard from a person that we won't even be able to recall weeks from now when the finalist pay homage to their fallen comrades.